literature

13 Thoughts

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Literature Text

i. That Feeling

You know that feeling, when you're cold, colder than you should be—so cold that it feels almost like the coldness is coming from right of the very heart of you—and then you wrap up in blankets or arms and you just finally find this warmth… but it's more than that, deeper than that. It's a safeness and contentment. And it's like… nothing bad can get to you so long as you stay right there wrapped up where you are in that moment. You know that feeling?

I love that. I wish I could bottle that feeling up and keep it with me always.

ii. Cry

I like being in those moods where it's just easy to cry and the crying can be triggered by silly things, like movies or something. It's almost better crying for those reasons than for my own — you still get the emotional release that crying gives you, that feeling where everything just seems a little bit better once you've cried it out of your system, only you don't have to deal with the reality of why you were crying because it's not your reality…

iii. Marshmallow

He's not my everything.

I have dreams and passions and family and friends.

I have so much to live for. So much to make life worth living.

He is not my everything - but he is one thing I wouldn't want to live without.

It hurts to even imagine it.

iv. Optimism

It would be so easy to let things get under my skin, to allow them to make me bitter and angry and hateful. That's the easiest thing in the world, to become that person -- but that's not me.

I wouldn't like being that person. So I choose not to be.

Dwelling on the bad things is easier than letting things go... but in the long run, your life is easier--more peaceful--if you try not to hold onto that negativity.

v. Lack of Reason

I hate those moods where you can't stop smiling, but really, you have no reason to smile. But you feel something almost like happiness anyway and you don't trust it and you're just waiting for your normal emotions to flood back and for it to be so much worse because of the contrast… but you still can't stop smiling, even knowing that. And everything makes you smile. And nothing. And you don't even know why.

vi. Universe

So… I just realised — when you think of how mind blowingly massive the universe is, it makes it kind of impossible to believe in God. Well, at least the kind of God that religion creates.

Religion creates this history of the universe that revolves around us, like we're all there is, the center of it all… and how fucking arrogant is that? To think that in the whole universe, we're so important. Even if there is a God, different from how religion paints him, even if some being created the universe… why would we matter so much?

The universe is so big that we're only aware of the tiniest fraction of it and we can barely even begin to understand it — so why would there be this whole afterlife for us too? In a universe this big, why would there be a heaven or a hell when there's already so much? Heaven/hell/afterlife is a human thing but I don't think in the grand scheme of things that we're that important. I think our importance ends with us.

vii. Irrelevant

We crave love that will end in happily ever after…

But love doesn't have to last forever to be great, to be real. And the end of a relationship doesn't mean that the love dies with it.

Look at Gone With the Wind, the brilliance of the ending is that it doesn't end in happily ever after because love in real life doesn't always either. And that doesn't make the love any less real or meaningful, just because it doesn't last forever.

The love is in the words and feelings and all those moments that you spent together, the good and the bad, the stuff you endure… it's not about time, time doesn't measure the greatness or intensity of love. You could love someone for a week and that one week could have more meaning and depth than a relationship that lasted years.

Time is irrelevant when it comes to love.

viii. Attraction

I love how personality can make someone more attractive… there are so many people that I wouldn't have thought were ugly, but I wouldn't have considered them hot or sexy or gorgeous without their personality. And I love that — I think that kind of attractiveness is way more appealing and gets under your skin more than just a pretty face ever could.

ix. Regret

You're still the first person that pops into my mind when I hear those songs and I always smile.
And I think on some level, I regret that you're just memories to me now.

x. The Cause

I miss you. I don't think you would even be able to fathom just how much or how much of an impact you've had on the person I've become and pretty much my whole life… and I can't even tell if that impact is good or bad, because I don't think I can be happy ever.

Not really, never completely — little flickers of happiness maybe, but it'll never blaze inside me to the point where it consumes all of the pain and darkness. And that's your fault… well, not your fault exactly, but because of you. Because I miss you. Because I'll always miss you… I've accepted that.

xi. Past Tense

You were such a big part of my life for so long and now you're nothing to me but nostalgia. You're past tense. I think that's one of the worst feelings in the world, seeing someone you used to know so well only to realise that you're strangers to each other now.

xii. From a Distance

When I was little, I used to wish I could fly so that at night, when insomnia kept me awake, I could just fly out of my window and see the world from the sky.

Everything looks so much better from far away.

From up high and at night, the distance and darkness paints the world like a pretty picture and it hides all the bad things… the city lights are like stars or candles or fairy lights, beautiful — it's easy to forget that down there on the ground, in those rooms, there are people and they're living their lives and some are happy but some are sad or angry and hurting and on the streets, there's good things happening but there's plenty of bad things too. It's easy to forget the pain.

I still kind of wish I could fly, I'd spend my nights seeing the world just like that…

xiii. Everything, Maybe

Eskimo kisses. Pinky promises. Snow. Leaves in Autumn. Stars at night. Sad songs. Happy songs. Mix tapes. Nostalgia. Best friends. Laugh until you cry. Cry until you laugh. The colour green. Pj days. Rain, rain, rain. Thunderstorms. Iceland. Old skool Disney. Words whispered into kisses. Eyelashes.

People who let you hug them for as long as you want to. Random conversations. People who just understand. Inside jokes. Love. Lollipops. Drawing. Writing. Books, books, books. Words, written words. Handwritten letters. Getting things in the post. People who know when to listen. People who don't make you talk when you don't want to. Halloween. Socks. Rainbows. Glitter.

Kisses on the tip of your nose. Forehead kisses. New York. Wearing wellies. Jumping in puddles. Laughing so much your sides hurt. Those moments where you look at someone and they're looking right back at you and you both laugh or smile, knowing you're thinking the exact same thing in that moment. The colour blue. People who can make you laugh when you don't even feel like smiling. People who can make you smile.

Fear, because we need it sometimes. Italy. Converse shoes. Vans. Doc Martens. T-shirts and jeans. Hot showers. Cold showers. Warm baths. Water. Pizza & chocolate. Poptarts. Friends. Best friends. Family members that you love and not just because you have to. Those moments where you realise that you love someone. Holding hands, fingers laced. Feeling safe. Feeling content.

Smiling when you're alone because you know it's real, there's no one to pretend for. TV shows you get addicted to, they make you care. Protecting people you love. Standing up for what you believe in. Open minded people. Paris. Silences that aren't awkward. People who will tell you the truth, even if it hurts, because the lies hurt more in the long run. Tattoos with meaning. Trees. Climbing trees. Walking. Running till you're gasping for breath. That feeling when you reach the top of a hill. Sleeping. Dreaming. Journals. Pens. Paper. Putting pen to paper and writing it all out…

Just… little things. Maybe they could be everything.
No point to this really. Just random things I wrote and posted on my tumblr and *shrugs*... =/
© 2010 - 2024 a-lanna
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